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Description
Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never HearThis is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning." So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to
This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody.
And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody.
Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.
This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.
Binding Type: Hardcover
Publisher: Knopf Publishing Group
Published: 04/10/2018
ISBN: 9780525655015
Pages: 64
Weight: 0.35lbs
Size: 7.10h x 5.10w x 0.70d
Review Citations: Kirkus Reviews 01/01/0001
Voice of Youth Advocates 08/01/2018 - Recommended - Hard To Beat
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4.9 ★★★★★
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★★★★★ 5
A boss
Format: Paperback
I’m the most important books by one of the greatest illusions of the 21st-century Walter Brueggeman is a boss
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Reviewed in the United States on October 29, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Good quality holder
Color: Brushed Nickel
Very sturdy and a beautiful finish. Good quality and easy to tear the paper towels.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 11, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Pretty Gold Paper Towel Holder
Color: Warm Gold, Color: Warm Gold
Beautiful addition to my kitchen. I wsnted A touch of gold and this paper towel holder is perfect. It’s also very sturdy. Great purchase!!
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Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2025
★★★★★ 5
PERFECT!
Color: Warm Gold, Color: Warm Gold
What a great match in my kitchen!! It's very nice and very sturdy!! I love it!!
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Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Sturdy and looks good!
Color: Brushed Nickel
Very easy to assemble. Is very study and does not tip over. Plus it's a good look!
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Reviewed in the United States on April 30, 2026